I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
