I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Blood and glitter go together right?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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