as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
