You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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