i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize