She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
