Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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