This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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