they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
