Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
