There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
