I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
