She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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