I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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