Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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