i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
COCAINE IS GR8
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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