i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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