Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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