Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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