Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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