swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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