I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
