im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
