Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize