I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
