Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
