im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
