i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
it's great music for shaving your balls
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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