am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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