OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize