I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
