Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
