they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
