Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
NoShamevember. You game?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
