come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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