and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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