just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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