Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
