Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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