Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
