with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
