At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
