dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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