Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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