its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
