Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
