so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
