Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
