hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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