That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Is it penis luge time yet?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
