So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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