I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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