covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
