Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
