Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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