Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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