I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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