Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
