That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
