Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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