I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
