Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
