bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
