Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
