Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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