it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
