Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
