i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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