let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
