Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
