i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
